Got ya!

There are surprises and then there are surprises. Like, finding an extra Taco Bell burrito, unpaid for, in your bag is a surprise. Going into an outhouse near the mecca of Alaskan snowboarding, though, and becoming bitten by a bear from below is a surprise.

But let us meet Shannon Stevens who was on a backcountry adventure with her brother near Haines.

You certainly recall Haines from every recent snowboard film ever.

Very dynamic.

In any case, Shannon and her brother were staying in their yurt when she needed to use the facilities.

Out she went to the outhouse, opened the door and…

“…sat down on the toilet and immediately something bit my butt right as I sat down,” she told The Associated Press. “I jumped up and I screamed when it happened.”

Her brother, hearing the commotion, rushed out to find Shannon tending to her wounds. He assumed she had been tasted by a mink or squirrel but no, she told him. “I said, ‘There’s a bear down there, we got to get out of here now.’”

The next morning they found bear tracks all around the property but Shannon is not mad. “I expect it’s probably not that bad of a little den in the winter,” she said.

What a lovely person.

S.M.R.T.

One would have assumed every extreme sporter knows that ripping and education don’t mix from the wonderful example set by Jeff Spicoli in 1982. Still, there is always some shred that feels themselves to be an exception to the rule.

Take, for example, the case of the world’s cutest snowboarder and Olympic gold medalists Chloe Kim.

As you know, she has been attending smarty-pants Princeton, part of the Ivy League, but just slammed the pause button on her schooling per a just-released CNN report:

Looking ahead to the Winter Olympics in Beijing next year, student life is on hold as Kim recently returned to the sport she loves, winning her fifth X Games title in January.

Her focus is on “getting back in snowboarding shape,” and aside from suppressing her craving for sweets, it’s a welcome change for someone who, quite noticeably likes to keep busy.

“I’m so, so happy and grateful that I’ve been able to come back and compete again against all of these amazing, talented, hardworking women,” said Kim. “It was nice to kind of get out and start competing again.”

Kim admits that it’s a demanding schedule in the countdown to the games and combining it with Princeton was not going to help her chances of success.

“I got a leave of absence,” she said. “There’s no way I can handle going to school while being a professional snowboarder, especially before the Olympics.

“I plan on going back, but right now, I’m a full-time snowboarder and one day I’ll be back to being a full-time student. But, yeah, I don’t think I can juggle it.”

If you could rip or be smart, which would you choose?

Me to.

I mean too.

Don't stop believing.

West Texas is not known for its mountains or fresh, fluffy powder, no. It is ranch and oil land, flat for as far as the eye can see and dusty or rather was dusty until days ago when the temperatures dropped, the heavens opened and fresh fluffy powder covered that flat ground.

The weather event was enough to knock much of Texas off the grid, rolling blackouts, tornadoes spinning.

Many were scared.

Many more terrified but not a cadre of snowboarders who dreamed the impossible dream of, one day, being able to shred Lubbock.

And let us meet university student Corbin Antu who snowboarded up and down those snow-silent, white streets, clinging to a tow rope as friends in a pickup truck pulled him around the West Texas prairie town, where, according to the local paper, it’s nearly impossible to find a hill to sled or ski down.

“This is my first time snowboarding out in Lubbock,” he said. “Trust me, it’s not disappointing.”

Does his strong endorsement give you pause?

Will you consider booking your next winter vacation to Lubbock instead of the Rockies, Alps or Tetons?

I must say, I’m compelled.

Also functional mushrooms.

If you are aware of anything, or one, in the surf world it is either onetime Baywatch star and Gisele Bündchen’s ex Kelly Slater or big wave legend and ice bath activist Laird Hamilton.

Well, the later just crashed the mountain party, inking a three-year deal with U.S. Ski & Snowboard to be “the official and globally exclusive functional coffee and coffee creamer” sponsor but let us go directly to the press release for more:

Laird Superfood (NYSE American: LSF), creator of assorted superfood products, today announced a new three-year partnership with U.S. Ski & Snowboard to be their official and globally exclusive functional coffee and coffee creamer sponsor. The partnership will help nourish the U.S. Ski & Snowboard athletes on their road to gold with functional, plant-based ingredients. Laird Superfood products help elevate and support the athletes’ daily ritual with fueling ingredients. Each product is carefully selected to create the best possible experience by giving each routine a serious upgrade. Laird Superfood is defining the next wave of coffee by increasing the benefits of America’s most popular beverage with their new functional blends that are revolutionizing the way people consume their favorite drink.

“We are proud to support the U.S. Ski & Snowboard community and feel that this partnership aligns with our mission of providing real, plant-based products to support people looking to perform their best, whether on the slopes, in the office, or at home,” said Paul Hodge, CEO of Laird Superfood. “We are excited to help fuel the daily ritual of such dynamic, high performing athletes competing as members of the U.S. Ski & Snowboard teams.”

As the exclusive coffee creamer, hot chocolate, functional mushroom, and ground, whole bean, and functional coffee sponsor, Laird Superfood… etc.

Quickly, did you ever believe you’d live to see the day when the “official and globally exclusive functional coffee and coffee creamer” category would exist?

I didn’t and whoever claims these are troubled days filled with rancor and unrest should French press a nice mug of black coffee, stir in some functional creamer and re-evaluate.

Or maybe eat a functional mushroom

Exciting.